Before I began I will be completely transparent; I am not perfect and I absolutely struggled with writing this because I didn't want anyone to view me as trying to be perfect. However, it was placed on my spirit to address this topic because someone needs to hear this. Someone is struggling with this very same battle but feels as though no one understands their hurt. Someone is struggling with this very same battle but feels as though too much time has passed for them to have the same emotions. What battle are we talking about? The battle of losing a parent.
My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer while I was in elementary school. Fearful as any child would be, my mother reassured my siblings and I that she would make it through this. I had no doubt in my mind that she would. My mother was a strong Christian woman. She did exactly what she said she would, she fought as hard as she could and the cancer went into remission. We went on about our lives and got back to how things were before this happened. Years later the cancer came back. Studies show that once breast cancer comes back it comes back more aggressive than it was before. Even with this knowledge, my mother once again reassured us that she was going to fight this. She fought like a warrior and the more aggressive the cancer became the harder she fought. We were a praying household so we began to pray despite the severity of the situation this time. Eventually we came to an end with this battle. The doctors told us that there was nothing left that they could do and the best thing for us to do was prepare ourselves. I remember going to bed that night and reminding God that we had a deal; He was going to heal my mother and I would be the perfect daughter, student, dancer, etc. Shortly after this conversation, my mother reminded me that God had the final say. From that moment, I had peace. If someone on their death bed could still trust and believe God..........then I needed to get my life! Eventually, my mother took her last breath on this earth and was finally at rest with our heavenly father.
Losing a parent is probably one of the hardest things to go through. You have this person who taught you everything; from riding a bike to how to dismiss yourself from a room when adults are talking. Then all of a sudden they're no longer physically here. You try to make yourself believe that it's a really bad dream until you wake up the next day and your house is full of family and friends, your phone and Facebook is piled with condolences and your eyes are dry from crying yourself to sleep the night before. Let me be the first to tell you, it is something that you will never completely get over. However, it is something that has the potential to heal over time. Why do I say potential? I say that because you have to allow yourself the opportunity to heal. To this day, I struggle with dealing with my emotions. You are entitled to your emotions, but the healing comes when you understand that you can't dwell in them. It's also giving your anger to God and understanding that he didn't take your parent away from you to punish you. God loves you like crazy. So although it may seem easier to be upset with him, it won't help. It's amazing how God works! Your parent may no longer be here and there will never be another person on this earth to replace them; however, God has placed people in your life that will still guide you, protect you and love you like a parent should. Pray your way through those weak moments (birthdays, holidays, etc.) and don't allow the enemy to take control over your mind. You still have purpose on this earth. What you went through was not in vain. There is still such an amazing amount of greatness in you that is just waiting for you to step out in faith and spread it across the world. Also, guess what? Your parent is still watching over you, cheering you on from heaven and sitting next to God! Your parent is so proud of you so keep living your life and make them proud.
